As I “dressed up” a paragraph from my first essay. I realized that most of the words I was using to substitute weren’t making my paragraph any better. Sure it was making the paragraph sound more sophisticated and academic, but it sure as hell wasn’t making it flow. It sounded a bit bad actually. I didn’t like it much since after reading it, it left me more confused than ever. If I wrote the freaking thing and I got confused, imagine another person. Now when I tried “dressing it down”, it was a bit hard to do since I felt the paragraph couldn’t be dressed down any less. The purpose of “dressing it down” is to make what I’m saying clearer to the audience. I had already done that, but by “dressing it down” I felt like a first grader barely learning to write complete sentences. The whole flow of my paragraph changes and it just doesn’t feel right. If I “dress it up”, the audience will be confused. If I “dress it down” the audience will get bored. I wouldn’t keep anything from the revision of my paragraph, I like the way I write just fine.
In chapter 15, under D. The Idea of the Paragraph, the author tells us why paragraphs are essential in writing and what the benefits to using them are. Paragraphs aren’t exactly necessary in writing. But if they’re not, then why do we use them? Simple. “Paragraphs are a relief not just for the readers: they also give the writer a break.” Paragraphs do so much and people don’t even know it. Paragraphs provide the reader “with convenient resting points from which to relaunch themselves into your thinking.” A break in a paragraph allows a reader to look back at what they read and really think and understand. Paragraphs aren’t just a bunch of random sentences bunched up together. A paragraph in a way is it’s own “thing.” Each sentence should have it’s specific purpose. Though what makes a paragraph a paragraph is it’s connections between sentences. Repetition of key words is made apparent in paragraphs and is a great way of linking each sentence with one another. The whole idea of using key words is to remind the reader of the core principle or the main idea of the paragraph. Paragraphs are essential to have in writing and should not be taken for granted.
Let me start off by saying I’m not quite too sure on what Discourse Community I want to do. I was thinking of something along the lines of relationships. I’m skeptical though since there is so much to cover when it comes to relationships. There are so many types of relationships; family, that special someone, friends, even animals. It’s a complicated discourse. Although it seems extremely interesting, it is a lot to cover. I would talk about how a relationship is made and how a relationship would grow into something stronger. Whether it would be with your brother or friend, time spent together can make a relationship stronger or weaker. I don’t want to get into detail. if I choose this discourse I’ll tell you guys all about it on my essay.
Chapter 9 in Writing Analytically with Readings, it tells us the different ways arguments are made, and how they usually go about and are dealt with. The chapter first looked at how arguments can be seen. The book told us arguments were tried being seen scientifically, “trying to isolate the various biochemical and other mechanisms in the brain that determine how we process experience.” Arguments are way too complex and unstable to be understood as simple scientific studies or mathematical equations. Arguments can be identified through the Aristotelian model. This model has three parts: Major premise: a general preposition presumed to be true; Minor premise: a subordinate preposition also presumed to be true; and Conclusion: a claim that follows logically from the two premises, if the argument has been properly framed. This model would be called a “syllogism.” A syllogism can be valid, but that doesn’t mean the conclusion is true or right, it just means the statement is valid. Syllogism is only as true as its premise. Most arguments today are typically in the form of a “enthymeme” which is a syllogism that is incomplete, basically missing one of its premise. Another form of an argument can be seen in Toulman’s Alternative Model of the Syllogism. Here he tells us that an argument basically has three parts to it. It has it’s supporting data that will back up the claim that’s originating from a warrant. This chapter tells so much about arguments. Arguments are simple yet complex, they’re tricky. People have arguments because they have different discourses, morals, beliefs, perspective on things. Arguments can’t be won or dealt with just one method. Each argument has its method. There are a lot of fallacies. I’m not quite familiar with most of them. The ones I am familiar with are Ad hominem, Bandwagon, Hasty Generalization, and Straw man. This information will be helpful for my creation of project 2 since it gave me insight towards arguments and fallacies, which there will be a lot present in my possible discourse of relationships.
Oh man College wasn’t what I expected. I was used to slacking off on my assignments in high school and doing just enough to get by, and now from those choices I’ve made it left me a bit unprepared for college. It took me awhile to realize that I needed to start doing my work. Though thanks to a little motivation I was able to get back on my feet and continue.
I’m still quite not 100 percent on the Community Discourse I have selected. For now I shall work on my essay with this discourse. The artifact I have found on the discourse is a pamphlet called Teens and Marijuana from the Phelps County Child Advocacy Network. This pamphlet talks about how bad marijuana is and how to prevent kids from getting a hold of this drug. It provides facts, identification, prevention, and help for teens. I can talk about how bad it is and it’s negative effects it has in society. Or I can discuss about how marijuana isn’t all that bad. That it can actually be beneficial.
I think I’ll just talk about both and start my conversation from there. A lot of people say marijuana is bad, but there are those who say it’s good. Cannabis as it’s also called, is known to be an illegal drug and notorious for its psychoactive effects. This drug is “abused” by millions of people here in the U.S. Yet this drug is also used for medicinal purposes. Some people are saying this drug does more good than bad, since it helps deal with stress, pain, and glaucoma. I plan to ask Fresno State students around the college on their opinion on this drug and if they are users themselves. I’ll see if I can debunk some “facts” this pamphlet provides. I will research why this plant is so notorious and why it is illegal to grow and use. The purpose of my conversation is to address people if marijuana is either good or bad. I will determine this when I actually get to do my research. I will try to convince the reader on the side I have chosen. I’ll extend the argument by comparing it to other drugs. I’ll explain the impact marijuana would have in our economy if it were legalized. and the wonders it would do. I’ll explain how this would impact society. Marijuana is indeed an intriguing topic to research and I’ll actually look forward to writing this essay as I will learn so much.Funny how I am now 100 percent sure on writing about this Community Discourse.
Reading Mr. Frank’s comments towards my essay was really disappointing and also extremely helpful. He addressed that I did not really talk about a community discourse, rather I basically talked about a thing, Cannabis. That it serves as a central conversation in other discourse communities. This news to me was disappointing and embarrassing. I need to do major work on my essay. I hardly analyzed my article, and I also did a poor job giving my sources any voice to make them stand out. A lot of work has to be done. The road ahead won’t be easy, but with determination and perseverance, it can be done.
Chapter 16 talks about introductions and conclusions and how there are no particular rules to writing them, but rather it having standards. An introduction has to contain a thesis statement and give some insight to what your writing is going to be about. An introduction sometimes is over packed with information that shouldn’t be stated and rather be put in the body of your writing; usually this is factual evidence that supports your main ideas. This would be called digression, in which you provide too much background. Writing this in your introduction would defeat the purpose of a body, since the body is where you can truly talk about your main ideas, analyze them, and truly get in depth with them. Sometimes people try to preview too much of their writing’s conclusion in their introduction; this is called incoherence. Trying to conclude your paper without actually going through the discussion is illogical, so why do it? Prejudgment is another problem that arises in introductions. Prejudgment is when you already have settled the question that would be asked throughout your paper. This problem is actually logical unlike the previous one I talked about. Doing this would defeat the purpose in writing the rest of your essay; it would make it redundant.
Conclusions are the finale of the paper you are writing. Many writers make a bit of problems while making their conclusions. Avoid giving an anti-climax in which you leave the reader confused by ending with a concession. It is going to be the last thing a person has to read on your essay, and it should be the most memorable part of the essay since it is the ending. Raising a totally new point can distract a reader from the essay’s true goal. Overstatement in which a writer states too much about their claim at the desire to end with a “bang”, by having a grand culmination. Also, many writers see the sole purpose of a conclusion just to restate their thesis from their introduction, but conclusions can do, and should do much more than that.